Step 4 – LOVE

The step is about compassion or love, a topic that many people have an “anguished” delight before. It’s something we want at the same time as it scares us. In most cases people have learned to love conditionally that is if you are good or nice you get sympathy from others and get care but if you are not clever or kind it is taken away from you. Many feel that with love comes a lot of demands and freedom will be limited. What to choose, love or freedom? In this step you train yourself to love and lead people unconditionally. The surroundings will then seem more manageable though really it’s you that has changed. When we practice to create love in Qwan we do not look at love as a feeling that comes and goes. We look at love as a way of being or a point to create from.

Pattern – complexes and ideals

Often we develop both complex and ideals to be able to belong to a group. These patterns are common in humans. You can certainly find some complex that you have or any ideal that sometimes prevents you from creating what you want. See if you can use the perspective “Openness” instead of your complex or ideal and practice this.

Pattern- Opinions

Your opinions will become blockages in some circumstances and they may be difficult to get around. When you notice that you are moving into point of view that you do not want have try to stop yourself and use the perspective “Openness” instead. When you notice that your already created an opinion that prevents you from a result you would like to have consider to to investigate “Openness”.

Pattern – Projections

That wich makes you feel particularly strong – positively or negatively – about another person or event is probably a projection. We put what is within ourselves and that wich we find difficult to be with – outside ourselves. For example in the form of judging other people.

We think they are doing wrong, we point fingers and get upset. This happens unconsciously, we do not know that we project but sometimes when we do that this becomes an obstacle. We can also project a positive thing that exists within ourselves on to others, this happens when we acquire idols for example. Then this may become a barrier to discover that we ourselves have this positive quality that we believe that the idol has. Investigate the perspective “Truth” to see if you can transform a presumed projection.

QUESTIONS

Below we have presented a couple of questions coupled to different perspectives. These we have used with our clients to help them to get started to investigate and to explore. The purpose with these questions is to help our clients  to get responses and experiences from the field of potentiality . In the end you learn to find your own questions that are potent in your life. You can use the questions in your meditations or work with them togheter with a partner.

Questions belonging to the patterns in Step 1

Bring your questions into your everyday life and explore your answers.

Describe yourself in any aspect without using negative or positive judgments about yourself.

What is it to be fair?

What is your most common negative thought about yourself? Can you replace it with something else?

What is your most common negative feeling about yourself? Can you replace it with something else?

Do you remember anything from when you were really small? There may be a short memory of an event, something that someone said to you, a picture or a symbollic representation of something.

What impact did that memory have at the time? What significance did it get? How has this affected your life?

How would you describe yourself? Some “positive” and some “negative” sides.

How would you describe your life? Good or bad?

Give an example of something you think is wrong and something you think is right

What does it mean to be loyal to yourself?

What does it mean to be fair?

What does it mean to have a code of honor?

What kind of people are constantly recurring in your life?

In what way does these people remind you about yourself or your straight opposite?

What kind of events are recurring in your life?

In what way does this events reflect upon you?

What happens if no people or events belong to you?

 

Introduction to the method

Qwan consists of a number of perspectives that you learn to use to change different kinds of ideas, thougts and behavioral patterns in your life to achieve your goals.

To describe what our clients and students are actually doing in a very simplistic way; with the help of the coach you discern a blockage (pattern) that you would like to transform and wich you think stands in the way of your goals and then you choose a certain perspective to use in your daily life. For a period of time you focus on this perspective, you train yourself to use it and you investigate it and then you analyze the outcome of this investigation.

We are focusing on 5 areas in an individual’s life that we have seen are important for all the people we have worked with. We call these “steps” in the method and they are presented here in the pedagogic order that we use when we work with groups. Neither perspectives, patterns nor steps needs to be worked on exactly as we present them here but this is an easy framework to use especially when working with groups. When working with individual clients you use what the client is there to dicuss with you.

The 5 Steps are: The Group, Identity, Relations, Love and Meaning. We have worked with groups for periods of five months to a year and also with one on one sessions with individuals. Usually our sessions are for one and a half hour where thirty minutes are dedicated to education in the method. The number of sessions in individual coaching are usually between five and forty.

Whe have seen that Qwan for example works well in the following areas;

  • Sales
  • Behavirol changes in organisations needed when implementing environmental strategies
  • Councelling for couples in relations
  • Life coaching
  • Supporting unemployed people
  • Enhancing results for professional dancers

We do not know where the limits lies for this method but we think that Qwan has alot to offer in many different settings and we would love to see different new uses for the method.

We have developed a certain way of looking at reality in Qwan. This vay is by no means meant to be an objective view but more lika a poetic and inspiring view. We do not propose anything in our method to be taken as literal truths or ideals – the method has a purpose and is pragmatic, describing what we have noticed to work.

We describe the Core of EXPRESSION like this…

Being in an exploration of your uniqueness.

To to give something of yourself without the need to please.

To communicate everything that needs to be communicated.

 Feel free to contribute with all that is there – or nothing.

Step 5 – MEANING

When you have made it through the 4 other steps you have created yourself in relation to the group, your identity, relations and love. In step 5 it’s time to take a look at yourself in relation to meaning and goals in life. What do I want to realize in my life, in my work and within in my free time? I need to find my deeper motivations to work effectively towards goals. Here it is important to distinguish what I am passionate about or what could be my innermost longing.

When you start training and using the perspectives in Qwan you can experience that the perspectives are easy to confuse. It’s no wonder because there are no watertight bulkheads between these perspectives. We humans try to describe reality and what we experience with words, but on a deeper level there are no sufficient words. Eventually the perspectives are naturally integrated into your approach. With the integration, a more mature process has often developed.

Founders and Contributors to the method of Qwan

LW Liten vid träd

Louise Wersäll -Coach and Educator

Coaching Mentor – Founder of Qwan January 1997- present

http://alipsa.se/index.php

Ulrica-9 (1)

Ulrica Danielsson – Relationship Counsellor

Coaching Mentor – Founder of Qwan January 1997- present

http://relationonline.se/

Per fr sid br

Per Nyfelt – Entrepeneur, Innovator, Systems architect , Project leader

Contributor to the method of Qwan November 2010- present

http://alipsa.se/index.php